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Professional Services

Crystal Pina is the founder and CEO of an administrative and marketing services company. She asked me to review her short bio to see if it represents her and her company in the most effective way. Let’s start by taking a look at Crystal’s current bio.

Original version of Crystal’s bio

Described as a “blog doctor” by her peers, Crystal Pina made her way into the world of Social Media by designing and maintaining WordPress blogs and Blog sites.

As an entrepreneur and speaker, Crystal offers marketing support to coaches, business owners, entrepreneurs, and solopreneurs.

Crystal is the founder and CEO of StreamlineYourMarketing.com, a division of Visions Virtual Assistance. Crystal established Visions Virtual Assistance in 2006 to be a resource and a source of technological support to Coaches, Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and Solopreneurs who market their businesses on the internet.

An administrative office management major, Crystal always had a love for things that were neat and orderly. Being a true Aquarian, Crystal combined her love for a tightly run office with her love for technology. Crystal’s passion is helping people integrate blogging, email marketing, social networking, and social media into their marketing plan.

Crystal is a self-taught expert in HTML and Cascading Style Sheets (CSS), with some knowledge of PHP and Javascript. Her team of experts helps meet all her client’s technical marketing needs.

Crystal’s clients include Reiki healers, life and business coaches, trainers, freelance independent consultants, artists, and authors. She has worked with clients in many different states in the United States as well as in Canada.

Born and raised in Massachusetts, Crystal still resides there with her husband Daniel, 5 grown children, and 5 grandchildren. In her spare time, Crystal loves to travel to warm places with palm trees.

Email Crystal now to get your business humming in the profit zone

 

Revised version of Crystal’s bio

Crystal Pina is the founder and CEO of StreamlineYourMarketing.com, a division of Visions Virtual Assistance. Crystal established Visions Virtual Assistance in 2006 to help coaches, business owners, entrepreneurs and solopreneurs market their businesses on the Internet.

Crystal’s passion is helping people integrate blogging, email marketing, social networking, and social media into their marketing plan. She has a talent for teaching people how to cut through all the noise and just do the things that matter. And for people who don’t have the time or interest to do it for themselves, Crystal does it for them.

An administrative office management major, Crystal always had a love for things that were neat and orderly. Being a true Aquarian, she combined her love for a tightly run office with her love for technology.

A self-taught expert in HTML and cascading style sheets (CSS), Crystal also has knowledge of PHP and Javascript. Her team of experts helps meet all her client’s technical and marketing needs.

Crystal’s clients include Reiki healers, life and business coaches, trainers, freelance independent consultants, artists, and authors. She has worked with clients in many different states in the United States as well as in Canada.

Born and raised in Massachusetts, Crystal still resides there with her husband Daniel, five grown children, and five grandchildren. In her time off she loves to travel to warm places with palm trees.

Email Crystal now to get your business humming in the profit zone.

Additional suggestions for Crystal 

I like the catchiness of “Blog Doctor” but I deleted it because it creates  the impression that all Crystal does is fix blogs.

I love the sentence on Crystal’s website that says “We are also entrepreneurs, just like you.” It would be effective to incorporate that sentence into the bio, perhaps as a quote. Something like this would work:

Crystal credits the success of her company to the fact that as a small businessperson herself, she understands the pressures and multiple demands her clients face. As she often says,  “We get it. We are entrepreneurs, just like our clients.”

 

photo credit: Andy Cardiff (flickr.com/photos/finefella/)

recruiting-solutions-logoBethany Brevard is the President and Founder of a recruiting company called Professional Outlook, Inc. She asked me to review her short bio to see if it represents her and her company in the most effective way. Let’s start by taking a look at Bethany’s current bio.

Original Version of Bethany’s Bio

Bethany Brevard is the President and Founder of Professional Outlook, Inc. (POI). Bethany has worked in the recruiting industry since 1989 and founded POI in 1991. Previously, she worked in the apparel manufacturing industry and retail sales management in California before relocating to the Chicago area, then finally Western Michigan to be closer to family. To contact Bethany…

Revised Version of Bethany’s Bio

Bethany Brevard is the President and Founder of Professional Outlook, the premier search firm in the United States specializing in the placement of technical and management professionals. Along with her staff of nine industry specialists, Bethany enjoys the challenge of finding just the right person for the job. With over 20 years experience in senior level recruiting, Bethany often draws upon her secret weapon: an unparalleled network of contacts and resources that can open doors like magic. To contact Bethany…

Suggestions for Bethany

When I first read Bethany’s bio, I got the impression that she was perhaps a solo professional or at most had one or two people working for her. I had no idea that her company was as big and established as it clearly is.

When I went to Bethany’s website, I realized that she was really underselling herself in her professional bio. I thought “Wow! She runs a really substantial recruiting company and I want that reflected in her bio.” That’s why I deleted the information about where she has lived over the years  in favor of highlighting her company’s capacity along with her expertise.

A professional biography is essentially a piece of marketing material. The most effective way to create marketing material is to put yourself in your readers’ shoes. They are asking”what’s in it for me? why should I care?”

For readers of Bethany’s bio, their “what’s in it for me” question will be “can she get me the result I want?” Therefore, it’s important to make it clear that she’s really good at what she does., and she gets results.  I did this by using these phrases:

  1. enjoys the challenge of finding just the right person
  2. over 20 years experience
  3. her secret weapon
  4. unparalleled network of contacts
I must say that my favorite part of Bethany’s revised bio is the reference to “her secret weapon” that “opens doors like magic”. I like that wording because it has a fun storytelling quality (and thus avoids the dry blah, blah, blah of the standard bio) while subtly implying that Bethany is a wizard at what she does!
Something Bethany may want to add to her bio is a short quotation that gives a sense of her personality, while also underscoring her expertise. For example, one of Bethany’s staff members has this excellent quote in her bio:

[Debbie’s niche is] “Finding that needle in a haystack” for her clients. “Even with all of the modern technology available, I still love utilizing the phone to seek and find those special candidates for my clients. There is great enjoyment as well as satisfaction in connecting a wonderful future employee – seldom out there on a job board – with a fabulous company and everyone wins.”

Using a quotation in the subject’s own words can be a very effective selling tool in a professional bio. It’s also a great way to personalize a bio that’s written in third person.

A final point: You may have noticed that I deleted the “Inc.” after Bethany’s company name. This is simply for readability. Even if your company’s legal name includes “Inc.” or “LLC” you don’t necessarily have to include it in non-legal documents. For example, Microsoft, Apple and JCPenny are all corporations but they don’t always include the Inc. or LLC designation after their names.

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